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Apple iPhone 7 – New frontier could leave a bitter taste

Saturday, 12 December 2014


iphone-7-lemons

With the Apple iPhone 6 and 6 plus only just out of the wrappers rumours already abound of the feature set of the next generation iPhone 7.

There is no doubt that even though the latest generation iPhones have proven popular with the Apple fan base, that some of the zest has been lost to the mighty Android juggernaut.

In an attempt to regain their crown as both evolutionary and revolutionary zeitgeists, it has been rumoured that Apple might be turning to the final unconquered frontier of the senses. Having been the first to conquer sight, sound, feel and hearing on a mobile device, it would appear that the next generation iPhone 7 may include something to appease the gourmands of the world, albeit perhaps unintentionally!!

In order to mitigate the ever-increasing concerns over the germ carrying capacity of mobile phones, it is rumoured that Cupertino are introducing a nanotechnology anti-bacterial layer over the whole iPhone 7 combined with a radial ultra violet rim that complements the sterilisation capabilities of the device. The intention with iPhone 7 is to clean up the touch screen technology which is a natural host to many pathogens, a problem was recently further exacerbated by the advent of biometric identification features on the latest iPhones. It is hoped that the anti-bacterial layer will have several health benefits from the reduction of germ carrying potential to the added advantage that clean fingers have less chance of being rejected by the biometric security software.

The layer itself, although not yet off the drawing board would need to meld the sophisticated oleo phobic coating with a non degradable yet permanent micro biological matrix. The most likely candidate being a citric acid formulation of some description.

There are many potential benefits beyond the obvious to this putative technology. However, possibly the most compelling from a commercial point of view is that by including a citrus based anti-bacterial layer with both taste and smell properties built into a non-volatile matrix Apple would be the first provider of a mobile device that catered to all the senses!! The marketing possibilities of this could be enormous.

Some of the potential benefits that have been suggested for the iPhone 7:

  • Location of mislaid phones would be significantly improved by being able to smell them

  • A quick lick of the coating would immediately improve one’s breath

  • A dip in a glass of gin would remove the need to have fresh slices of lemon

  • In foreign countries or harsh conditions local water might be sterilised

  • Use of the UV coating as a barrier checking device for germs around the home and workplace

  • In slightly more frivolous vain imagine a host of UV waving phones at pop festivals and the effect that this would have

As with any potential advance in technology there are always the negatives as well as the positives. A spokesperson for the British Gourmand Society was quoted off the record “Apple need to pay very careful attention to the quality of the citrus used for the iPhone 7. There is a world of difference between a Baars and a Sicilian moment in your gin!”

What are your thoughts? Might this turn into a bit of a lemon for Apple or could it be one of those Eureka moments?

 


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